Insanity .

David Caudillo-Malik dcaudillo at
Fri May 11 00:13:20 PDT 2001

Insanity???? I thought I did stuff like this to stay sane, no you don't, yes I do, no you don't. 

At lunch-time, sit in a parked car with sunglasses on and point a
hair-dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

Insist that your e mail address is Elvis-the-King at

Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with

Put your trash bin on your desk and label it "IN."

Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.

Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has got over their
caffeine addictions, switch to extra strong espresso.

Reply to everything someone says with, "That's what you think."

Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the prophecy."

dont use any punctuation in any correspondence

As often as possible, skip rather then walk.

Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."

Sing along at the opera.

Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

Put mosquito netting around your desk and play a tape of jungle-sounds all

Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party
because you're not in the mood.

Call the psychic hotline and don't say anything.

When the money comes out of the ATM, scream "I Won!? I Won! 3rd time this

When leaving the zoo, start running towards the car park, yelling,: "Run
for your lives, they're loose!"

Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my head that bother me, it's the
voices in your head that do."

Tell your children over dinner "Due to the economy, we are going to have to
let one of you go."

And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity, send this e-mail to
everyone in your address book, even if they sent it to you or have asked you not to send
them stuff like this...

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