incapacitate tic

Connie Craig koclk at hamair.com
Tue Sep 12 19:31:23 PDT 2006


I am like a log slipping smoothly over somewaterfall.
I could bring my sentence to aclose in a hush of complete silence.
We exist not only separately but inundifferentiated blobs of matter. It wasSusan who first became wholly woman, purely feminine.
How differently different peoplesay that!
Iexist only in the soles of my feet and in the tired muscles of mythighs. Only just enough to pay forthe rent, for light and food and the childrens clothing.
Every tree is big with a shadow that is not the shadow ofthe tree behind it. Feeling a sudden conviction of immortality, Isaid, I too know what Shakespeare knew. The light had faded from the tool-house wall and the adders skinhung from the nail empty.
My boots became worna little on the left side.
Thus preserved, his tastelater was of extreme fineness. Black and grey were shotinto the garden from the broken vessel that had once held redlight.
With one scoop a whole brakefulof boys is swept up and goes cricketing, footballing.
Allelse is distasteful, forced and fatiguing.
I tooknotes as we sat together in chapel. Nothing would happen to lift that weight of intolerable boredom. Nevertheless, life is pleasant, life is tolerable. Now to explain to you the meaningof my life.
We hear a drumming on the roofs of a fastingcity when the Turks are hungry and uncertain tempered. Suddenly the sense of what people are leaves one. I buriedboxes of burnt matches in holes in the turf at his feet.
Down below, through the depths ofthe leaves, the gardeners swept the lawns with great brooms. Hisfriends observed in him a growing tendency to domesticity .
Suddenly the sense of what people are leaves one.
He waswithout those simple attachments by which one is connected withanother.
We are not always aware by any means; we breathe, eat,sleep automatically. Wonder and awechange as they put off the draperies of the flowing tide.
Tuesdayfollows Monday; then comes Wednesday.
We exist not only separately but inundifferentiated blobs of matter. To let oneself becarried on passively is unthinkable.
His grimand caustic tongue reproved my indolence. Therefore, I said, I am myself, not Neville, awonderful discovery.
There is nothing one can fishup in a spoon; nothing one can call an event.
Pillars go down; the Doctor floats off;some sudden exaltation possesses me. Jinnys yellow scarf ismoth-coloured in this light; Susans eyes are quenched.
Feeling a sudden conviction of immortality, Isaid, I too know what Shakespeare knew. The tide in thesoul, tipped, flows that way; they cannot help deserting us.
The leaves shrivelled as she looked atthem, tossed in agony as she passed them. That is not to be borne, I said, as I satbeside her on the roots that were hard as skeletons. 
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